PROUD

You’ve made us very proud, my dear sunshine. You’ve never failed to do that. Alhamdulillah wa astaghfirullah, may Allah ease your upcoming journey aamin ❤️

Love,

Kakak

Relationships

Hey guys! How are you doing? Hope y’all are doing good wherever you are.

So, why this topic all of a sudden? Yesterday I played badminton with a few friends then we hung out after playing. We had coffees and talk like normal adults haha, you know like…. Omg I can’t even remember how the talk started until relationships’ question came in. They were asking about each other’s current and previous crushes, boyfriends, girlfriends, rejections, marriage plans etc. Then I was like “I REALLY DON’T WANNA GET INTO THIS”. Like seriously, it feels kinda awkward talking about relationships publicly with more than a person. 

But it was a good talk though. I love listening to people’s thoughts and trust me, my friends did have a lot of thoughts! :)))

It has been 5 years since I’ve had a boyfriend and truth to be told, I am already used to it. I mean, it’s going to be awkward if I were to have someone close again in my life besides my family and friends. YES I AM A VERY AWKWARD HUMAN BEING. I guess it’s been a long time since I have had someone confessing to me so right now, it feels very awkward if someone does. Unless that someone can make an effort to not make me feel awkward then I’ll be okay after a while maybe? I pity my future husband for having to deal with this later hahahahaha. 

Lately, I’ve seen a few couples breaking up due to some reasons such as meeting new partners, fights and a lot more reasons to be listed. This made me realize how complicated a relationship is unless you understand each other. For example, a guy and a girl have been in a relationship for more than, say 2 years and I consider that as long enough to get into a separation. They are usually seen as the happiest couple on Earth because they always spend time doing everything together, posting pictures together. But then, when these people unluckily have to be apart due to studying purpose, then one of them met someone new whom he/she can get along with. After a while, suddenly this separated couple get into fights and in the end they just go separate ways. Not even trying to work things out. I just don’t understand why would you get into a relationship, saying I love you and all then you just end the relationship without even trying to work it out again. Do you really love him/her? Because to me, if you really love someone with all your heart, if things do not work out eventually, you will make it work by any means. If you just want to be with someone temporarily then ditch him/her when you find someone else, that’s just playing. I do understand the concept of, “Dah kalau takde jodoh” (not meant to be) but still we have to work things out. If from the start like being a couple, you can just easily break up with someone, there’s a chance that you might do it when you’re married. I’m just saying there’s a chance, not everyone is like that. I don’t wanna be judgemental but this is what I thought. 

As for me, after seeing these things happened, I just hope that one fine day, my future someone would just make it simple and straightforward by telling me that “I seriously want to be with you for the rest of my life and I hope to get to meet your parents one day to make it official”. Tell me what kind of woman who would not want that? Well, after getting to know each other maybe for a few months, if Allah wills it, I certainly prefer to get married not so long after that. InsyaALLAH hopefully. 

OKAY, THE END.

Peace Be Upon You

There’s faith in my world
It comes back to your teachings and all your words
From your life I have learnt
To be patient and caring at every turn
The reason I’m strong
You’re where I belong
In a world spinning out of control
The reason for my pride
You are my guide
And I will always follow your way
Your way, your way, oh!

‘Alayka salla Allah O Muhammad
(May Allah’s salutations be upon you O Muhammad)
Peace & blessings on you every day
‘Alayka salla Allah O Muhammad
You inspire me in every way
I promise that wherever I go
Whenever I pray
I’ll be sending you praise
With the words that I say
Rasulallah (Messenger of Allah), O Muhammad
Peace & blessings on you every day

There’s light in my heart
Helps me find my way back when I’ve gone too far
When all my anger makes me blind
I remember you’re a mercy for all mankind
The reason I forgive as long as I live
In a world spinning out of control
The reason I love, I’ll never give up
And I will always follow your way
Your way, your way, oh!

I know the only thing I want from this life
And it’s to follow all your footsteps to Paradise
So that’s the way I’m going to spend all my time
Yes I swear, by Allah I swear!

I am a type of person who usually does not care about the meaning of the lyrics of every song that I listen to, I just sing them haha. But this song is definitely different from the others. Whenever I listen to this song, each lyric just touched my heart deeply. I feel like “Yes, the only thing I want from this life is to follow Rasulullah’s steps to Paradise”. Yeah, I do feel like that when I listen to this song, it gives me hope and reasons for me to be a better person. I might forget sometimes, well most of the time but I do realize about my purpose in this life. Sometimes I just wish that I could just erase my bad habits easily like erasing a word but it’s hard. You know. Sometimes I am confident with myself that I can do this but after a while, I just forget. However, I feel really thankful to Allah that He provides me with the best companions in this life such as my wonderful family, circle of close friends who always reminds me of Allah SWT and to always do everything for the sake of Allah. I am really thankful to always get reminded because not everyone gets this and not everyone would realize their mistakes and repent from them. Someone once told me that “Everything is a process and everyone has their own pace in making changes. Not necessarily that you want to be better, you will be better at one shot. It is a process and it takes time. Even the sahabahs of Rasulullah had their phases before they become the greatest of people, mashaAllah.” Hope this would help anyone who is also in the process of making changes like me 🙂

That’s all for today. Salam Jumaah!

Personality

Hi again guys! Today I feel like writing about personalities and I was just assured that I am an ambivert. Truthfully, I am a more of an introvert person since I am not an outspoken person and I get nervous easily being in front of many people. I like socializing with people, meeting new friends but it actually depends on the mood. Haha I am weird, I know. I think I was friendlier when I was in primary school because I got excited every time when I go to school. Well people grow up I guess and everyone’s behaviour just change. 

But I always thought to myself that I have to get out of my comfort zone and I have to be braver. I have to speak out of what’s going in my mind, ask anything that I want to ask etc. How long will I be like this? Sometimes I do get mad and frustrated with myself for not being brave enough to voice out my thoughts. Whenever I feel like speaking out, I always doubt myself whether should I say this? Is this logical or good enough to be asked about? Especially about what people would think of my questions later on. I do get tired of feeling like that, too tired but that is just who I am I think?

However, I am still proud of who I am right now. At least I feel better that I was before (during high school). I was very shy back then and my communication skills were very bad. Luckily I realized it and I knew that I have to change for better. So now, here I am, being an ambivert but not so extrovert. But I hope that one day, some day, I will be someone whom I have dreamt of being all this while – someone who knows that that it is never wrong to speak out of how she feels and what she thinks of something and she will never know of what’s ahead until she tries. 

 

OFFICIAL START OF THE YEAR a.k.a FINAL YEAR

So yesterday was the start of the year. I had two lectures and they were not bad, the morning one was very lively as the lecturer was an American so of course! The evening one was relatively okay but I felt bad for feeling sleepy. I guess it was already kinda late and I was sitting nearly at the back so that should explain the reason why. I shall sit at the front seats for the upcoming lectures! 

Today was not really okay for me. OMG I felt sleepy again during the lecture :(((. I was focused at the beginning but then I just lost it. It was Microeconomics lecture and God knows how hard that subject is if you don’t get what it is about. And I also checked whether there are lecture notes for me to read but THERE’S NONE! I have no idea what to do next. I just hope that the lecturer will upload them soon. Please please please.

Hoping that tomorrow will be a great day for me and everyone. I’ll be having a lecture for FYP for an hour and that’s it. Hopefully I’ll make use of that one hour to really listen to the lecture. YOU CAN’T WASTE MORE TIME SOFEA. REMEMBER WHAT YOU YOU PROMISED TO YOURSELF. MAKE THIS YEAR COUNT FOR YOU, YOUR FAMILY AND ALLAH. InsyaAllah  ❤

Till next time!

WEEKEND THOUGHTS

Hello there. It’s been week I guess since my first post. I have been busy packing, travelling back to the UK, unpacking etc. Well tomorrow marks the official start of my final year at the university. Knowing that fact, I start to get emotional because I know that I am so going to miss being here after I graduate. The environment, the unpredictable weather, the welcoming and pleasant locals ( might not be all but most of the people I have met ). AAHH I’M NOT READY TO BE BACK FOR GOOD YET! These past few days, I did a lot of thinking of how is it like when I am back for good in Malaysia. One good thing is that I have my family there but I often think about the communication I will have with the Malaysian citizens. Not to be judgemental or “lupa daratan” but from what I’ve observed, I really love seeing the moral values portrayed by the British citizens compared to the Malaysians. To me, they are the ones who have the attitudes and manners that every Muslims should have. I really admire that.

However, that’s how life works and these are the phases that I know that I have to face in this life. I might think that it’s not good for me but Allah thinks it’s good for me and that’s why He has set this path for me. You know what, I am forever grateful and thankful that I am one of chosen ones to go through what I am going through now. I mean He has arranged and planned everything in the best way that I could never imagine of having. He brought me through successes, failures, then He gave me chances after chances that made me realize that I am absolutely nothing without Him. Certainly I am not perfect but with Him, I become complete. And I hope and always pray that I never forget His love. InsyaAllah.

Reaching the end of summer break

With so many activities and routines going on, these past two months have gone by just like that. Truthfully, I feel a bit sad for not be able to spend more time with my family even though most of my weekends have been only with them but I know there could have been more, especially during weekdays.

Now, I only have around a week left before going back to studying – FINAL YEARRRRR! I have many things going in my mind right now. I could not even describe how scared I am to face the final year; the year that will decide everything, where will I go next, what will I do. That huge responsibility I hold really freaks me out sometimes. As the eldest in my family, I hope to make my parents proud because that is what I should do. What else can I do besides making them happy right? They have sacrificed so much for me and my siblings . Now it is our turn to return the favour. When the new academic year starts, I promise to myself to work harder, try my absolute best to excel in everything I do for the sake of Allah SWT and for my family and make the year count! I hope so, insyaAllah.